Seriously?

Seriously?  November 24 was my last post?  72 days ago?  I'm amazed I remembered my password!!

Well a lot has happened since November.  Weight wise, work wise and me wise.  As you may have guessed I fell off the wagon.  I went to my last meeting on December 02 and didn't go back until December 30.  Crazy, I know!  I gained over the holidays about 3 pounds give or take.  I did continue to work out but missed all my hip hop classes for December.  I also completely stopped tracking and am still struggling with it.  

The WW program has changed now too.  It is completely different.  Everyone starts out with a minimum of 29 points, which is what I was at anyway.  You now can eat all fruits and veggies and they are 0 points!  Yeah for FRUIT!  The points are now calculated differently as well.  They are measured by fat, fibre, carbs and protein.  Instead of fat, fibre and calories.  You are also allowed to have 49 weekly allowance points instead of 36.  It focuses more on "Power Foods"  such as: fruits, vegetables, whole grains, non-fat dairy and dairy substitutes, lean proteins and others.  The plan does work when used!  Which brings me to my problem, I'm not USING it!  I am sticking my head in the sand when it comes to eating!? 

I'm not even trying to eat healthy!  Takeout, skipping meals and workouts!  I am still going to my meetings, so that's good.  I did miss last weeks but I worked until midnight so there you go!

I don't know what's wrong with me?  I just stopped caring!  I need to get my a** back in gear and get going again.  I can tell too.  I'm tired, cranky and just don't feel like doing anything.  I know that will go away for the most part when I start taking care of me again.  My WW meeting is tonight and I know WI will be bad.  I think I will be over the 190 mark again!  Aaaarrrrggghhhh!  

It's a mean path!  But I know I am 100% to blame.  I can be making better choices, I'm just not.  At the last meeting I went to, I was talking to one of the leaders and a lifetime member about how busy I am and how difficult it is for me to make/choose a healthy option.  She said to write down a list of 5 quick, easy meals to make and their points.  That way when I get home late we can be eating healthy in less than 1/2 an hour.   The lifetime member suggested I plan my weekly meals and before she got her sentence out, I was saying, "I can't, I'm far too busy for that."  I immediately shut her out.  On the way home I felt bad about it.  Why do I always say, "I can't, don't, won't."  I do have time.  It sounds like a lot of work but it really isn't.  Not to mention my grocery bill will be less when I'm planning my meals.  So before I go to bed tonight, I am going to plan my meals.  I will go grocery shopping and get what I need.  I don't want to be the person I was when I started this blog.  I REFUSE to let myself get back to 215.8 + more! 

I read my blog from the beginning to my last post and that has helped me to remember what I wanted, what I need.  Also, to recognize my past accomplishments. 

In other news, I will officially cease to be business owner on February 15, 2011.  I will also be out of work!  I have mixed emotions about the whole thing.  We were in business since March of 2003 and it has been a long ride!  It has also been a real eye-opener!  Many people desire to own their own business and be their own boss.  I am not one of those people!  It was so stressful, so much work, and so much worry.  Especially since the economy came to a crashing halt in 2008.  I live in a small town in Northern Alberta and we rely heavily on the oil field.  We have agriculture here as well but our business took a big hit that we could never seem to recover from.  We also had Walmart open here in 2008 and that didn't help!  I am sad to see it go but also very grateful.  I've been wanting to be done for quite a while now and I am happy to be so close to being finished but sad to see two business's leave our small town. (we had the Sears catalogue outlet here too) 

I am excited to get to spend more time with my family.  I will not have such a hectic work life and I won't be so stressed out all the time!  I have applied for 2 jobs and am hoping to land one of them!  One of them is semi full-time, the other is very part-time.  If not, that's OK too.  I have a lot of jobs that I would like to tackle in my home that will keep me busy for a while.  I also have plans to take my Teachers Aid Certificate by night starting in September and I am looking forward to it. 

It looks like 2011 is going to be the year of change for me and my family.  Change is good! I am really looking forward to what this year brings.

All I need now is to get my head out of the sand, stay on track and keep exercising! 

Till next time Blogland!