Friday, February 4, 2011

Not as Bad as I Thought............

Well peeps, I did make it to my meeting last night.  I did gain 1.2 pounds.  My weight is currently at 188.6 pounds, which is a total of 27.2 pounds lost.  That is about the same since I stopped posting way back in November.  Not bad!  I thought it would be worse! 

Coincidentally, the topic of last nights meeting was, OBSTACLES!  How do we get through them?  How do we let them affect us?  For me, I ignore it.  I am a master of not thinking about it.  I can go through life not addressing any problem because I am pushing it down!  I realized last night, I was ignoring my plan, my eating, my exercising because I didn't want to address it.  Didn't want to think about the days where I ate out every, single meal.  The four nights of McDonald's, the endless cappuccinos, the chips, the pop, the everything! And then being mad when the scale went up, not down!  Even though I knew why, I was just ignoring the problem! 

I realized last night, I can't do that anymore.  I am cheating myself.  If I don't start paying attention RIGHT NOW, THIS MINUTE!  I am going to fail.  I am going to quit.  I can recognize it.  Before, it would be a relief to me but now it is disappointment.  Not only am I letting down myself, I am letting down my children, my husband and my friends here on my blog and in my life.  I want to be an inspiration!  A success story!  I CAN DO IT!

So anyway after the meeting I was supposed to go to dance but I needed to go home to pick up Jordy from Tae Kwon Do.  (20 minutes away)   I got to TKD and picked him up, ran home, dropped him off with Dad and Lexi and left to go to dance.  I wasn't even 10 minutes out of town before I noticed I was out of gas!  I made it back home, but we had no moolah left! We don't get paid until midnight on Thursdays!  I was bummed out.  I missed last weeks class because I was working and I really wanted to go to this weeks.  I didn't let it get to me though!  I wanted to munch on nachos (seriously craving them lately) but I didn't.  I had leftover mashed potatoes and a chicken breast.  Afterwards, I tidied up a bit and went to bed.

I did make my meal plan this morning and I am going grocery shopping tonight for it! I am also going to the gym with a couple of friends of mine. 

I have made a commitment to work out 5 days a week as well.  I am not going to let myself forget or ignore.  I need to be aware everyday so I don't fall into that trap again.  I'm just grateful that this time I realized what I was doing before it was too late.

Till next time Blogland!  

BTW - Love you too Lee!

Thursday, February 3, 2011


Seriously?  November 24 was my last post?  72 days ago?  I'm amazed I remembered my password!!

Well a lot has happened since November.  Weight wise, work wise and me wise.  As you may have guessed I fell off the wagon.  I went to my last meeting on December 02 and didn't go back until December 30.  Crazy, I know!  I gained over the holidays about 3 pounds give or take.  I did continue to work out but missed all my hip hop classes for December.  I also completely stopped tracking and am still struggling with it.  

The WW program has changed now too.  It is completely different.  Everyone starts out with a minimum of 29 points, which is what I was at anyway.  You now can eat all fruits and veggies and they are 0 points!  Yeah for FRUIT!  The points are now calculated differently as well.  They are measured by fat, fibre, carbs and protein.  Instead of fat, fibre and calories.  You are also allowed to have 49 weekly allowance points instead of 36.  It focuses more on "Power Foods"  such as: fruits, vegetables, whole grains, non-fat dairy and dairy substitutes, lean proteins and others.  The plan does work when used!  Which brings me to my problem, I'm not USING it!  I am sticking my head in the sand when it comes to eating!? 

I'm not even trying to eat healthy!  Takeout, skipping meals and workouts!  I am still going to my meetings, so that's good.  I did miss last weeks but I worked until midnight so there you go!

I don't know what's wrong with me?  I just stopped caring!  I need to get my a** back in gear and get going again.  I can tell too.  I'm tired, cranky and just don't feel like doing anything.  I know that will go away for the most part when I start taking care of me again.  My WW meeting is tonight and I know WI will be bad.  I think I will be over the 190 mark again!  Aaaarrrrggghhhh!  

It's a mean path!  But I know I am 100% to blame.  I can be making better choices, I'm just not.  At the last meeting I went to, I was talking to one of the leaders and a lifetime member about how busy I am and how difficult it is for me to make/choose a healthy option.  She said to write down a list of 5 quick, easy meals to make and their points.  That way when I get home late we can be eating healthy in less than 1/2 an hour.   The lifetime member suggested I plan my weekly meals and before she got her sentence out, I was saying, "I can't, I'm far too busy for that."  I immediately shut her out.  On the way home I felt bad about it.  Why do I always say, "I can't, don't, won't."  I do have time.  It sounds like a lot of work but it really isn't.  Not to mention my grocery bill will be less when I'm planning my meals.  So before I go to bed tonight, I am going to plan my meals.  I will go grocery shopping and get what I need.  I don't want to be the person I was when I started this blog.  I REFUSE to let myself get back to 215.8 + more! 

I read my blog from the beginning to my last post and that has helped me to remember what I wanted, what I need.  Also, to recognize my past accomplishments. 

In other news, I will officially cease to be business owner on February 15, 2011.  I will also be out of work!  I have mixed emotions about the whole thing.  We were in business since March of 2003 and it has been a long ride!  It has also been a real eye-opener!  Many people desire to own their own business and be their own boss.  I am not one of those people!  It was so stressful, so much work, and so much worry.  Especially since the economy came to a crashing halt in 2008.  I live in a small town in Northern Alberta and we rely heavily on the oil field.  We have agriculture here as well but our business took a big hit that we could never seem to recover from.  We also had Walmart open here in 2008 and that didn't help!  I am sad to see it go but also very grateful.  I've been wanting to be done for quite a while now and I am happy to be so close to being finished but sad to see two business's leave our small town. (we had the Sears catalogue outlet here too) 

I am excited to get to spend more time with my family.  I will not have such a hectic work life and I won't be so stressed out all the time!  I have applied for 2 jobs and am hoping to land one of them!  One of them is semi full-time, the other is very part-time.  If not, that's OK too.  I have a lot of jobs that I would like to tackle in my home that will keep me busy for a while.  I also have plans to take my Teachers Aid Certificate by night starting in September and I am looking forward to it. 

It looks like 2011 is going to be the year of change for me and my family.  Change is good! I am really looking forward to what this year brings.

All I need now is to get my head out of the sand, stay on track and keep exercising! 

Till next time Blogland!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Oops! I Did it Again!

Hello!  I have been away for a while on this blog.  I can't believe the last time I wrote was November 2!  Geez.  I do feel kind of bad about that.  Sorry everyone. 

What happened?  Where did I go?  Well, lets just say I put myself at the bottom of my list again.  I completely quit tracking and working out.    Things just got so busy and I didn't have time for me anymore.  My house, kids and job desperately needed my attention.  I sort of ate healthy, but I know I made poor choices and overate.  I stopped drinking water and returned to coffee.  Stopped getting enough sleep and trudged through the day tired and cranky and eating to keep me awake.  I feel bad about it but I am not going to quit.  The important thing for me to realize is that I was aware of everything I was doing.  I didn't do it blindly.  I chose to do everything I wanted.  Was it good for me?  Probably not.  But I'm done with it for now.

Today I start a boot camp class with a friend of mine.  We do it Mondays and Wednesdays.  I still do hip hop and I definitely intend to run again.  It's just so cold out so I might have to get some different gear or hop on the treadmill to do my runs. 

I am worried about WI tomorrow though.  I missed WI last week because I was in Victoria and the week before there was no WI for Remembrance Day.  I know the scale will be going up, I just hope not too much. 

I am recommitting to this journey.  I need to make time for me.  I can't take care of anyone else unless I take care of myself first. 

Tuesday, November 2, 2010


That's how I have felt since last week.  I don't really care.  Tracking?  Doing it on and off.  Exercising?  Nada.  Making healthy choices?  Trying to.  Damn Halloween! 

I don't know what's wrong with me.  Feeling blagh.  Completely overwhelmed with work and my husband's new job.  He is never home anymore.  My workload has increased majorly.  I will not even have a full weekend off until Christmas!  And only because Christmas is on a Saturday.  I am completely exhausted everyday.  I need to get my a$$ back in gear. 


I have been really struggling lately.   Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.................

Tuesday, October 26, 2010


Today was my last class of yoga :(  I really enjoyed it.  Our instructor sent us away with a tip sheet and some ways to decrease stress.  I am going to miss that class.  At the beginning of each class we would have to pick a card with our eyes closed and focus on that during our sessions.  I thought it was very fitting that my card for the last class was titled time.  Take time for your life. 

It seems I never have enough time.  Time for my family, work, housework, organizing and me.  I really, really need to work on making time.  It seems like every minute of my day is full.  I'm going to try to work on that.  I need more time for my children and for me and I really need some time with my hubby.  We never have time for us.  I really miss it.

Food Journal October 26, 2010
  • 1 - 12 grain bagel with light cream cheese - 6 points
  • 1 banana - 2 points
  • 1c Weight Watchers Vegetable Soup - 0 points
  • 1c spinach salad w/ y.peppers. tomatoes, cucumbers & mushrooms w/ 1tbs of vinaigrette - 1 point
  • 1 grilled cheese sandwich w/ Dempsters body wise bread - 5 points
  • 1c skim milk - 2 points
  • 1 Fibre Plus Bar - 3 points
  • 1 sm. orange - 0 points
  • 2 slices of Dempsters Body Wise toast w/ 2 tsp of becel and 1 tsp of sugar free strawberry jam - 3 points
  • 2 egg omelet w/ spinach, mushrooms, y. peppers, tomatoes and 1/4c of low fat cheese - 5 points
Total Points = 28


1.5 hours of yoga

What Happened?

Sorry for not posting over the weekend.  It was one of those lazy weekends.  I did some cleaning and shopping for groceries but mostly just relaxed.  Finished a book and stayed up way too late watching TV but it was worth it.

Yesterday was a really crappy day.  I was so tired from staying up too late that I just had a give up kinda day.  I tracked my food but made really unhealthy choices.  Let's just say I was 27 points over!  Yeah!  Shocking!  Damn you KFC and Ferroro Rocher! 

I really don't know what I was thinking.  I was tired and work is severely stressing me out and I just gave up yesterday.  Not an excuse I know.  I chose to buy the big box of chocolates when I could've just bought 3 (I did only eat three though because my teeth hurt so much) and I chose to get KFC instead of cooking something else.  I just didn't want to.  I wanted to be in my misery, eat my greasy treats and generally feel sorry for myself. 

Today is another day!  I almost considered not even tracking yesterday but I didn't want to lie to myself.  I couldn't believe it when I added up the KFC dinner.  31 points!  For supper!  Aaaarghhhh!  I was so mad at myself when I figured it out this morning!  I think I had a mini panic attack!  LOL!

It's OK though.  I messed up.  I made a mistake and the next time I feel like going crazy, I will think about this.  I may decide to have the KFC but I will pass on the chicken fries and the gravy and have a salad on the side.  I can do this!  It's all about real choices and being true to myself!

Also need to start exercising.  I said I would do so on the weekend but I did nothing!  I'm gonna do it today!  My hubby fixed our treadmill so that will be getting used more often too.  Time to get myself back on the wagon! 

Food Journal October 25. 2010
  • 1/3c of oatmeal w/ tbs of maple syrup - 4 points
  • 1 chicken breast - 3 points
  • 1c steamed white rice - 4 points
  • 1 piece of garlic toast - 5 points
  • 3 Ferrero Rocher - 5 points
  • 2 KFC chicken 1 breast and 1 wing - 11 points
  • 7 chicken fries - 12 points
  • 1c of french fries w/ gravy - 8 points
  • 1 hot chocolate - 3 points
Total Points = 55

36/35 points used for weekly allowance! 



Friday, October 22, 2010

Food Journal October 22

Just want to log in my journal today.  Super tired.  Long day.

Food Journal
  • 1 1/4c of Strawberry All Bran w/ skim milk - 4 points
  • 1c of steamed white rice - 4 points
  • 1c clam chowder - 4 points
  • 1 1/2 chicken breasts - 5 points
  • 11 almonds - 2 points
  • 1 Fibre Plus Bar - 3 points
  • 1c ww linguine - 3 points
  • 1/2c veg spag sauce - 2 points
  • 15 cactus cut potatoes w/ dip - 5 points
  • 1 Chai Tea Latte - 2 points
Total Points = 34 points
6/35 Weekly Points


None - Rest Day

Thursday, October 21, 2010

What Does Success Look or Feel Like to You?

That was the topic of our meeting today.  Many different answers.  Success to me is actually looking in the mirror.  I used to avoid mirrors at all costs!  I hated when I would see my reflection in a full body mirror.  I used to be surprised at how I looked.  I didn't think I looked that fat.  I sure didn't feel like how I looked.  Now when I look in a mirror I like what I see.  I'm not where I want to be yet but I know I will be soon.  So my question to you is, "What does success look or feel like to you?"

Weigh in was great and very surprising.  I lost 3 pounds last week, which brings my total pounds lost to 23.6!  Amazing!  I passed my 10% goal and now I get to pamper myself a bit.  Woohoo!  I also need to think what my next goal will be.  I will let you know.

Food Journal
  • 2 scrambled eggs - 4 points
  • 2 slices of Dempsters Body Wise toast with 2 tsp of becel and 1 tsp of sugar free strawberry jam - 3 points
  • 1c of Campbell's Healthy Harvest Tomato Vegetable soup - 1 point
  • 1/2 turkey sand on Dempsters Body Wise bread 1 tbs of no fat mayo - 4 points
  • 1c salad with vinaigrette - 1 point
  • 1c skim milk - 2 points
  • 1c salad with lemon - 0 points
  • 1 1/2 slice of trimmed pork loin - 3 points
  • 1 c whole wheat spaghetti - 3 points
  • 1/2c of low fat spaghetti sauce - 2 points
  • 1 banana - 2 points
  • 2 Astro zero yogurts - 1 point
  • 1c of skim milk - 2 points
Total Points = 28


1 hour of hip hop class - completely intense

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Food Journal October 20, 2010

I went for my run!  It was raining but great.  I ran continuously for 3 minutes!  I feel great!

Food Journal
  • 1 1/4c Strawberry All Bran Cereal w/ skim milk - 4 points
  • 1 apple - 1 point
  • 1c of salad w/ ch. tomatoes, cucumbers and vinaigrette - 1 point
  • 1/2c brown rice - 2 points
  • 1c cooked carrots - 1 point
  • 1c cooked gr. peas - 2 points
  • 1c skim milk - 2 points
  • 1 Fibre Plus Bar - 3 points
  • 1 banana - 2 points
  • 2 egg white omelet w/ spinach, yel. peppers and 1/4c of low fat cheese - 3 points
  • 1 orange - 1 point
  • 1c skim milk - 2 points
  • 2 pieces of Dempsters Body Wise toast with 2 tsp of becel and sugar free strawberry jam - 4 points
Total Points = 28


W3D1 of C25K challenge - 30 minutes


First of all, sorry for not posting yesterday!  Crazy day.  Let me tell you about it.  All was fine until I got a call from my sister.  Her and her boyfriend had gone out of town on Friday and spent the night in a hotel.  The next day she went to go and checkout and get her security deposit back.  Instead what happened was they had charged her for another night and security deposit.  She realized this when she got home.  (they were 2.5 hours away from the hotel)  She then called the hotel and they told her they would just put in back in her account.  So she waited and waited.  On Tuesday, she called me because the money was still not there.  I told her they can't just put it back in your account, they need your debit card for that! 

She was really upset (understandable) and now their vehicle wasn't working and she would not be able to get back to get her money back soon.  (she has 2 kids and really needed the money) She asked if she could borrow my van but she does not have her license and my mom's driving record is not great and has caused plenty of rows between me and my husband when I lend my mom the vehicle. 

I was really stuck in a rock and a hard place.  If I told my mom no she would be mad at me and most likely hubby.  If I loaned mom the van, guaranteed I would not have a pleasant night with my hubby.  I was really torn.  I wanted to help but how could I?  I ended up finding someone to work the afternoon for me and drove my sister myself. 

We got to the hotel and it took an hour to clear things up.  In the end she ended up getting all of her money back, including the fee for the night she was there!

I had a great time with her.  It was the first time in 8 years that we got to hang out.  (we had some difficult times in the past which I will not talk about here)  We did some shopping, went for dinner, bitched about our parents (no one understands your parents like a sibling) and just had a great time.  It was a blessing to spend time with her and have such fun doing it!  All my other siblings live far away and I never get to see them.  Her and my relationship has been so strained in the past few years but I really felt like we reconnected and that was so nice.  Thanks Ang!  You are awesome!

The impromptu trip threw me off my game though!  I didn't get to yoga last night and I got home so late (11:30) that I also didn't go on my run this morning.  I am going after work though.  I brought my running clothes so I don't have any excuses!  I also went way over my points yesterday which pisses me off.  The culprits were the 2 coffees I had.  (8 points)  We also went to Moxie's for supper and I did make healthy choices but they have no nutritional information on-line.  While searching this is what I found:

We have attempted to collect nutrition information for this restaurant and received the following reply:

" Thank you for taking the time to inquire about Moxie's nutritional information.  Detailed nutritional information is becoming a more frequent request from our guests, and it is a challenge that we are not yet quite prepared to meet. At Moxie's, our ongoing philosophy is to constantly look for ways to improve the quality and value we offer our guests, and this results in recipes that are constantly evolving. The benefit of this approach is great food at great prices, but the downside is that we are unable to accurately track the changing nutritional information for the 300 or so recipes that we make every day. This is a project that we look forward to tackling in the future as we grow into a larger company, but it is not yet something we can manage."

Best regards, Moxie’s Home Office

Lame!  Not something they can manage?  Well I guess I will have to manage not eating there anymore.  Plenty of other restaurants put out their info, so they can too. 

I had to estimate the points for what I did eat there.  Hopefully they are close. 

Food Journal (October 19, 2010)
  • 1-12 grain bagel w/2tbs of light cream cheese - 7 points
  • 1 Lrg. Double Double - 4 points
  • 1 Kashi Dark Chocolate Cherry Bar - 2 points
  • 1 Banana - 2 points
  • 11 almonds - 2 points
  • 6 sm. pieces of naan bread with mosaic dip (vegetarian dish w/ roasted tomatoes, mushrooms, red peppers and goat cheese)  5 points - estimate
  • 1/4 of roasted beet, pine nuts, goat cheese and arugula salad w/ a half chicken breast and vinaigrette - 4 points - estimate
  • 1 Lrg. French Vanilla - 4 points
Total Points = 36
18/36 Weekly points used so far!  Eek!  If I hadn't had given in to the coffee, I would've been OK!  Tomorrow is another day!


None, unless walking around with shopping bags counts?  Maybe?  Probably not! LOL.....

Monday, October 18, 2010

My Feet Keep Running......

I went for a run today!  I dragged my ass out of bed and made myself go.  It was hard.  Week 3 of C25K program is:  5 minute brisk walk,  and 2 reps of jog 90 seconds, walk 90 seconds, jog 3 minutes, walk 3 minutes, 5 minute cool down.  I couldn't jog continuously for 3 minutes but I am going to repeat W3D1 until I can.  I also followed with a 15 minute stretching routine afterwards and it felt so good!  Especially my calves.  All in all, I had a good day.  Now for a cup of tea and a couple of chapters before bed.  Goodnight all.

Food Journal

1 piece of high fibre toast w/ 1tsp of becel - 1 points
1 1/4c of Strawberry All Bran cereal w/ skim milk - 4 points
1 Subway Chicken Teriyaki sub 6" - 5 points
1 banana - 2 points
1 applesauce cup - 0 points
1/2c of grapes - 0 points
1c of salad w/ 1tbs of vinaigrette - 1 point
1 baked chicken breast - 3 points
1 c brown rice - 4 points
1c of green peas - 2 points
1c of cooked carrots - 1 point
2tsp of butter - 2 points
1c of skim milk - 2 points

Total Points = 28


W3D1 of C25K program  (30 minutes)

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Wandering Around.....

Good day today.  Plenty of sleep.  Got to watch all the Grey's episodes I missed before church.  Spent the day with my family.  Walked everywhere.  Grocery shopping done. Enjoyed a French Vanilla coffee.  Talked to a good friend.  Had a great dinner with the in-laws.  I love Sundays!

Food Journal
  • 2 pieces of high fibre toast with 2 tsp of Becel - 3 points
  • 1c of 1% milk - 2 points
  • 2 apples - 2 points
  • 2 poached eggs - 4 points
  • 1 1/2 pieces dry rye w/ 1tbs of peanut butter - 5 points
  • 8 deep fried hashbrowns - 2 points
  • 3oz of ham - 3 points
  • Medium French Vanilla Coffee - 4 points
  • 1c chicken and broccoli - 2 points
  • 1/2c of beef chow mien - 3 points
  • 3 pieces of ginger beef - 2 points
Total Points = 32 points
4/36 weekly allowance points used.


2 hours of walking. 

Good day today.  Tomorrow time for a run.  Can't wait to get back at it!  Goodnight.