Finding Time

Whew! First of all, I am still here and on track!  Things have been crazy busy for me lately with work and getting kids back to school.  It is so hard to find time for myself!  I was hoping to be able to update daily but realistically it will be every few days!  One of the things I have been sticking to is making sure I go for a walk every night.   I usually go for an 1 1/2 but even if I get in a half hour I feel good. 

I found some really awesome recipes on the Heart and Stroke Foundation's website.  They were so good!  I tried to link the recipes but am having troubles so if you are interested go to the website and look up Chicken and Sweet Potato Mash and Chicken and Sweet Potato Pizza.   I am going to keep using the site for supper, lunch, snack ideas. 

In my last post I talked about joining a gym and I made up my mind to  do it.  I am having a bit of a dilemma about which one to choose.  Our town has a small gym that is old and dingy, no AC and not many staff.   The gym 2o minutes away in the next town is awesome!!  Experienced staff, classes, great hours, new equipment....etc.  It is the gym I want to go to but because I only go to the next town 3 days a week and one of those days is for my WW meetings and dance class, is it worth paying for the membership?  I'm not sure.  I really want to but am still conflicted.  What do you think?  Any suggestions or ideas? 

Last week I had an appt. with a nutritionist about some supplements and the conclusion was I would not be taking any!  Too many conflicting studies and some not approved by the FDA in Canada.  I will be taking Vitamin D and Calcium but that is all.  While I was there we talked about the Canada Food Guide and I was surprised at how many servings we are supposed to get in a day.  Such as Dairy for female adults my age is 2 servings and the same with meat.  I have made a commitment to myself and my family that we will now be eating according to the CFG.  I have also given up candy and junkfood for myself and kids.  I will not allow it into the house at all!  Which only makes me happy!  Not hubby or the kids but they will get used to it.   My goal is to help my children know how to make healthy choices for themselves when they get older.  Fruit and veggies aren't your enemy!!!  

Just wanted to let you all know I am still here and still fighting! 

Saying NO to saying NO

Just a quick note to let you all know how my meeting and weigh in went tonight.  First of all, I lost 3.8 lbs which brings my total weight lost to 6.6 lbs!  WOO HOO!  :)  My current weight now is 209.2!  I am almost out of the two hundreds!  I was so happy after my meeting!  I felt great.  I know I keep saying that I won't let the scale bother me but I hate that thing!  I couldn't even bring myself to look!

Our meeting lesson tonight was the title of my post.  We talked about saying no to saying no.  Such as, not letting us have a treat every now and then.  It's OK to have a treat or splurge once in a while.  You just have to plan for it.  WW is not a diet!  It is a lifestyle change.  Life is going to throw curves at us and we just have to learn to roll with it.  The most interesting part of this concept was when you say no to yourself, you deprive yourself of many things.  Such as, exercising, completing a marathon, zip-lining or joining a dance class.  Many things we tell ourselves we can't do.  Or we would never be able to do that because (insert excuse here).  When we tell ourselves no, we rob ourselves of so many experiences!  It took me 3 days to work up the courage to sign up for that dance class but I did it!  I also am going to sign up to the gym tomorrow too.   I don't want to deprive myself of anything anymore! 

Food and Beverages

7 bottles of 710ml of water
1 Chai tea (0)
1 Lemon tea (0)
1c of Kashi Go Lean Crunch w/ 1/2c of skim milk and 1/2c of blueberries (5)
1 Banana (2)
1c of salad w/ cucumbers and tomatoes (0)
1/3c of FF cottage cheese (1)
1tbs of dressing (1)
1 hard boiled egg (1)
1/2 serving of Pasta Primavera (3)
1 Flax multigrain pita (3)
1 lrg. plum (1)
1 cup of mixed greens w/ red peppers, tomatoes and gr. onions (0)
1 chicken breast (3)
2tbs of poppy seed dressing (4)
1 med orange (1)
1 Kashi almond bar (3)

On point today too!

Exercise

1 hour of brisk walk

Finding Time

Today was a really good day.  I got enough sleep last night and I was on point all day today.  It was really busy for me though.  Work, shuffling kids around and going back to school shopping wore me out.  On the plus side I signed up for the Hip Hop class on Thursdays and also picked up a number for a Pilate's class that I just found out about.  A friend told me that gymnastics is offering an adult class so I am going to look into that too!  The only thing I was disappointed about is I could not find any time for me to work out.  I got home at around 8:45 and I had to do the dishes, laundry and tidy up.  By the time I was done it was 9:30 and I was beat.  I thought I would walk on my treadmill during my fave show but realized it was under a pile of basement junk and it would've taken me an hour just to clean it out.  I am going to tackle it tomorrow so on the days I do get home too late to go for a walk or it's raining, I will jump on the treadmill.  Tomorrow is weigh in at WW and I am nervous!  I hope I lost some more weight but we will see.  I will post tomorrow and let you all know either way!

Food & Beverages

6 710 ml bottles of water
1/3c of Rogers Oatmeal (2)
1c of blueberries (1)
1/4c LF yogurt (0)
1c skim milk (2)
10 baby carrots (0)
1c of lentil vegetable soup (2)
1 turkey sandwich (4)
1c skim milk (2)
1 lrg. plum (1)
10 baby carrots (0)
1 srv. pasta primevera (5)
1 srv. chicken breast (3)
1 garlic toast (5)
1 med. orange (1)

Total Points 29 (Right on target)

Exercise

None

Whew!

Wow!  I had a crazy busy weekend!  We travelled to go visit my dad and do some back to school shopping, we left on Friday and got back late on Sunday!  I am so tired!  Travelling takes a lot out of me, especially when it seems you need to cram a bunch of stuff in such a short period! 

I did end up going over my points on Saturday (thanks for the awesome supper Dad)  we had BBQ ribs and garlic toast and yam fries and taber corn.  It was so good and so worth it.  Everything in moderation right?  I knew I would end up going over my points on Saturday so I made a point of going for an extra long walk before supper.  So I think I did not too bad.

Sunday we did some more quick shopping, I bought a couple new bras and some clothes to work out in.   The only thing I had were my star shorts and a ratty t-shirt.  I did get fitted for a new bra and I was completely shocked to find out I was a 38DDD.  I totally did not believe it!  I guess that's why none of my bras fit!  Haha!  I'm sure hubby doesn't mind!  LOL:)

I am having kind of a rough week and I am really struggling to not eat anything bad for me.  I just feel grouchy and eager to pick a fight.  I think it is because I am not getting enough asleep.  I usually go to bed at 10:30 and I haven't been going to bed until after 11 and it takes me a while to fall asleep.   I need to work on going to bed earlier. 

It's hard to stay on track when you are grouchy.  I am still going for a walk everyday and I made a decision about exercise.  I am going to join the Hip-Hop class on Thursdays since I have to be in town for my WW meetings that night anyway.  I am also going to going the local gym in town.  Looking forward to the dance class and also a little nervous but I am going to have fun!

I just wanted to post so you all know I haven't given up!  I have also decided to track what I have eaten and the exercise I have done on here as well!

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1/2c  cooked granola (5)

1/2c fresh blueberries (0)

1/4c FF yogurt (0)

1c Skim milk (2)

1c salad w/ cucumbers, blueberries, LF cheese, tomatoes & cauliflower (0)

1tbs of balsamic dressing (2)

11/2 Chicken Breast (5)

1 Banana (2)

12 Crispy Minis Sea Salt & Lime Flavoured (2)

1 small piece of carrot cake w/ tsp of icing (6)

1 small t-bone steak (7)

1 yam baked (3)

1 tbs of becel marg (2)

1 cup of steamed broccoli (0)

I was 6 points over today :(  but that is fine!  Tomorrow is another day and I am not going to let today bother me!

EXERCISE

1 1/2 hour walk

Saying Goodbye to Excuses

Today was extremely busy day!  As I mentioned yesterday we were having a travelling day.  I made sure we went to bed early so I got plenty of sleep.  I also packed a lot of healthy travelling snacks (apple, plum, carrots, rice crackers, and almonds) and plenty of water.  I find when I am driving I tend to munch on gas station goodies so I was really glad I packed healthy!  We stopped for lunch at Subway and I had a 6" Veggie Delight on 9 grain whole wheat with tomatoes, cucumbers, lettuce and green peppers with mustard and low fat mayo. (5 points)  It was so good and filling. 

We arrived at our destination and went to go school clothes shopping.  I was really nervous about being at a mall because we always stop and eat at the food court and always get little treats from the specialty shops.  We ended up walking for about 3 hours and my feet were so sore.  I also left my water in the van so I ended up being really thirsty.  After 3 hours I was done!  My feet were sore, I was thirsty and starving.  I was really grouchy and tired.  Then we went to the food court.  I really felt like giving in.  I really wanted to eat whatever but I told myself NO!  Just because I was grouchy I wasn't going to let that be my excuse to eat unhealthy.  I found the healthiest option which was Kyroro Korean BBQ.  I had a plain BBQ chicken breast salad, no dressing and a bottle of water.  Which was a total of 6 points.  Super good and I felt full.  

When we got back to my dad's he had a cake for Jord's BD.  I looked at the NV and took a quarter of an inch of cake which ended up being 2 points.  I was really proud of myself!  I didn't let any excuses get in my way of my goals and I am finished with letting bad days and hurt feelings be my excuse to eat unhealthy!  

Well I guess I should go to bed now!  Another busy day tomorrow.  Goodnight. 

Weigh In

Just a quick note to let you all know that I am doing well.  Stayed on point!  Had some crazy cravings at work but I just ate a plum and drank some water and they went away. 

Weigh In today was 213 lbs even.  That is 2.8lbs lost so far!  Awesome!  

Well got to go.  Gearing up to head out of town tomorrow and we are heading out for a walk.

Bye for now.

NSV (Non Scale Victory)

Today was a really good day.   I stayed on point and walked to and from work today which was about 45 minutes.  In the afternoon, I started feeling a little cranky.  I had a headache and my pinky toe has this monstrous blister!  I started thinking there was no way I would be able to go for my walk tonight and I started getting down on myself.

I was trying to figure out what else I could do when I remembered my cousin saying she really liked Aquafit.  Aquafit is from 8 to 9 on Wednesdays and Mondays where I live.  I had a huge mental argument with the "Other Chrys". (I guess I'm a little crazy LOL)  The "Other Chrys" hates trying new things,  does not want to come out of her shell, is so freaking shy it's paralyzing and above all things absolutely hates being seen in a swimsuit.  "What would people think of you?" she said.  "What are you trying to prove?" she said.  "You know you should just give up because you aren't gonna do it anyway." she said.  You know what the Real Chrys said?  She told that b*tch to shut the f*ck up!  I know I can do this!  

I am going to do this!  If that means I have to try new things and meet new people that's what I am going to do.  I am starting to realize that this journey is not only about being healthy, it's also about becoming the woman I want to be.  Someone who isn't shy, who is outgoing and who is always first to try new things!  So I went to Aquafit, I put on my swimsuit and I went into the pool!  There were people there.  I didn't care what they thought. (If they thought anything) and I tried my best to do the moves!  Halfway through I realized I was having fun!   I will go again on Monday although that's the last class :(
and I will start looking for something else to do.  Best of all, I got a good workout!  I can feel it!  I will probably be sore tomorrow but that's OK. 

BTW, tomorrow is weigh in day at WW.  So we will see!  I'll let you know.

Decisions, decisions.........

First of all I want to say thank you to all the wonderful comments people left for me on Facebook.  They are so motivating and I am really appreciative of them! 

Today was an eventful day.  I made sure I planned ahead this morning because I had a court appt.  (nothing bad, just family related).  I got up early made a healthy breakfast, grabbed a V8, a plum and my trusty bottle of water and headed out the door.  When we got to the courthouse there was no parking (uh oh) and then when we got in there was so many people there!  Literally, absolutely standing room only.   I had my book and my family so we waited........and waited...........and waited some more.  I ate the plum, drank the V8 and finished 2 bottles of water. (1 litre)  Lunch rolled around and there were still about 20 - 25 people waiting to go in.  I was STARVING! Finally the judge announced a ten min lunch break!  My mom and sis wanted a coffee, so we drove to Tim's and the whole time I was thinking, "What the heck can I eat there?"  I didn't want any coffee but I wanted something (DOUGHNUTS, TIMBITS).   When we got to the window, I ordered low fat vanilla yogurt and berries and a whole wheat bagel with no fat cream cheese.  It was easy saying no to myself.  I expected this huge inner battle and I just decided no!  Small victory for me!  WOOT!  We got back to the courthouse and I ate my yogurt and half the bagel and felt satisfied!

It really got me thinking about decisions and choices.  We all have a choice.  Easy way or hard way?  Ignore the problem or confront it?  Eat a whole box of Timbits and a Boston creme and feel like sh*t about yourself or make a healthy choice and feel proud?  I'm trying to take this journey one day at a time.  Some days will be easy (like this one) and some will be hard.  But as long as I remember that I have the power over my decisions and nothing or nobody else does, I know I will do OK.

I did get a few comments about the gym situation and was just informed that Curves makes you sign a year long contract so that's out!  I am seriously considering a dance class of some sort?  Maybe hip hop?  I got a booty!  LOL.  Also, I think I will look into Fitness on the Go and once I get used to their machines and how they work, I might just join the gym in town!  We shall see.  Definitely gonna keep walking though.  Went for an hour and a half tonight after supper and I feel great!

Thanks again for all the awesome comments!  You guys are great! 

Walking....

Had a really awesome day today!  Today was a work day and a little chilly.  I am fortunate enough that I have a job where I can bring my kids to work (but it is really hard to get any work done)  I can't wait for school to start!     

I've been thinking about going to see a doctor for a yearly exam (it has been 6 years since I had one).  I really hate going to the doctor, but I think it would be good to get some questions answered about losing weight and exercise!  I also have an appointment with a nutritionist because I would like to learn about supplements and vitamins.  I've read on some blogs that taking supplements can aid your weight loss. 

I know I am only on day 4 and maybe this is the honeymoon period but I feel so damn good!  I have so much energy and I feel good about myself for making healthy choices.  I just feel like something inside of me has clicked.  I know I need to get healthy and I want to feel good about myself.  I have even been making an effort to go for a walk everyday.  Today after supper we all went for an hour and twenty minute walk!  It feels so good to get outside and I know it's good for our kids too!

After work today I left to go and buy some new runners (all I had were flip flops and man did my feet hurt)  I found some nice ones at Bata and they feel so good on my feet.  During our walk my feet didn't hurt at all. 

I've also been thinking maybe I should join a gym?  I don't know.  I will check prices and compare.  I could go to Curves but I think a 'real' gym might benefit me more.  Does anyone have any ideas? Suggestions?  Has anyone been to Curves before?  Please let me know what you think.  I am open.

New Shoes

Putting those shoes to work!

So now I'm off to tell all my FB peeps about my new blog and I think I will make a new FB page as well for ShrinkingChrys.  

Inspiration....

Amazing!  Just watched the most inspiring video over at 266!  If you ever needed inspiration it is definitely a must see blog!  WOW!  If I ever start feeling down or need a kick in the a** I will just head back over there and remind myself what will happen if I keep doing this!  Truly inspiring. 

How many points?

Today I was making breakfast and was trying to figure out my points for today.  I am finding that by the end of the day, I don't have enough points and I feel like I am overeating to compensate for that.  Even though the choices I make are healthy, I don't want to feel stuffed after eating.  I am allowed 29 points for the day and I have 35 points extra I can use for the week if I need or want to.  So I am going to try to balance those 29 points so I eat more for breakfast and lunch and not so much for supper.    The most surprising thing for me so far is how different you feel when choosing healthy, filling foods.  The old Chrys wouldn't even eat breakfast in the morning, just drink coffee until lunch, than have a huge lunch but be hungry again by 3 o'clock.  Then I would munch on whatever I had at work and be starving for supper.  It wasn't unusual to be continually eating from lunch until bed time!  Not a big surprise that I always had heartburn or stomach problems! 

This is what I had for breakfast this morning,

1/2 cup of no fat yogurt, 1 1/2 cup of sliced strawberries, 1 slice of 12 grain whole grain bread, 1 poached egg. 

That gave me a total of 5 points and was really good!  Better than eating nothing in the am. I also love coffee so much but I have limited myself to one cup a day which is usually 2 points if I make it at home.  My mom brought me a med double double last night and I saved it for this morning but it has 4 points!  Which is OK.  Everything in moderation!  I didn't gain all this weight overnight and it is going to take slow, baby steps to lose it all. 

I haven't really decided what I want my goal weight to be yet.  My leader Alice said it is too early to decide that.  I know for my height my weight range should be 117 lbs - 146 lbs.  All I know is it would be nice to get out of the two hundreds! 

When I was looking at other blogs, people had pics of themselves that they would progress with monthly, which I think would be a good idea.  Warning the below images are not suitable for everybody. Viewer discretion is advised!  Ha ha.

Me from the front, 215.8 lbs (I double checked my book and saw at my weigh in that I was a pound off)

Me from behind.  I hate this picture!  Blagh!

Me from the side.

So there you have it.  I was brave enough to put picks up.  I will post new pics every month so we can track my progress.  Well I guess I better go and do some housework and shopping.  Bye for now.

Wow....

Ok, so in my last post I admitted to signing up for WW.    I went to my first meeting and signed up on Thursday and I was a bit nervous.  I didn't really know what to expect.  It was early when I arrived and got registered.  There were only a few people there and they were all way older than me.  I was wishing there was somebody I knew there and just as I thought that, a girl I went to high school with showed up and she was signing up too!  Another lady walked in from dance (my daughter is in dance)  and she was signing up too!  I was so happy there were people I knew and my age there, I took it as a sign this is going to be good.  We went through the meeting which was about being flexible.  How we shouldn't let a bump along the way knock us off the wagon and if we go over our points or make a mistake that it is OK.  Tomorrow is another day!  When our leader Alice spoke about that, I totally got what she was saying.  Every time I try to lose weight I go overboard with doing it "right".  Trying to be perfect.  When I screw up, which I always do, I quit.  I throw in the towel and jump right off that wagon into a pile of sh*t.
Then because I screw up, I give myself permission to binge like crazy!  Sugar and take out and whatever else I can eat.  Obviously doing it "right" or being perfect isn't working for me.  So, I am going to take this one day at a time.  Baby steps.

Today was day 2 and everything went well.  I was 2 points over today and only because I had an extra glass of 1% milk.  I got all my fruits and veggies in and drank 4 litres of water.  I even went for an hour long walk with my husband and I also walked to work in the morning.  Today I feel good about my choices and myself. 

Now I'm off to read some other blogs and invite my family and friends to read this one. 

Here I go again........

Well I am on the lose weight bandwagon again.   The difference this time is I've joined Weight Watchers and I am blogging.  In the past, I have always done it by myself.  I set impossible to reach goals and when I make a mistake I quit.  If you can't do it right the first time why bother? 

I so want this!  I am so tired of being fat.  I have no energy and am so depressed and I think it is all because of how I feel being overweight.  I started gaining weight after I was married and became pregnant with my oldest.  I was 127 lbs when I began my pregnancy and when my daughter was born I was 181 pounds.  After that, I could never lose the weight.  I tried but never got below 165.  I became pregnant with my son 2 years later and just kept gaining.  My kids are now 9 and 7 and I am 214.4 lbs.  I'm tired all the time, my clothes all suck (living in northern Alberta there's not much for affordable selection),  and I feel like sh*t. 

I read on http://www.skinnyhollie.com/ to put yourself out there.  She started a facebook fan page and told her family and friends that she has a blog so that everyone she knew would know she is trying to lose weight.  I think that is a good idea and I am going to give it a try as well. 

There are three reasons I am doing this again and finally admitting to myself  I can't do it on my own, that I need help to lose this weight. 

1. I never go swimming with my kids if I can help it.  I hate the way I look in  a swimsuit and will always make up an excuse as to why I can't go.  (thankfully my kids haven't realized that you can't have your period all month)  Their dad always takes them but I always feel like crap when I lie to them and they always look so sad that I won't go.
2. The biggest reason and what really made me do this is my 10 year wedding anniversary is 5 days away and my whole family kept begging us to get our passports (because my sis told me they were buying us a holiday) but I kept putting it off, not because I was too busy like I told them but because I didn't want to go on a holiday where I would have to where a bathing suit!  Can you believe it?  I turned down a free vacation with my husband because I am too fat to go, because I hate myself for the way I look and I don't/didn't?  think I can have fun because I will be worried about how I look. 
3. The ultra biggest reason?  I  won't make love or have sex with my husband because I can't enjoy it.  I haven't had sex in over 6 months because I hate the way I look.  He doesn't see me that way and says I am sexy and beautiful but I don't feel that way.  I just feel fat and ugly.  The last time we had sex I spent the whole time sucking in my stomach and worrying, that by the time we were done, I couldn't get out of bed fast enough.  I just wanted to throw some clothes on so he wouldn't have to look at me. 

That is the first time I have ever said that "out loud".  OMG, I feel ashamed and horrible.  I can't believe how much power being overweight has over me.  I really want this to work.  It has to work!